Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A need to say... Thank You!!!

As most of you know, the first 8 weeks of my pregnancy have been very hard on me and my family. For some reason when I am expecting, I don't just get the normal morning sickness, or nausea that goes along with be pregnant. Nope, I get the full blown throw up 4-8 times a day. I feel like I stare at my toilet more than I do my family. It is horrible. The only good news is I usually lose 10-20 pounds during my pregnancies. But of course it all comes back plus some.

After Blake (which was my worst pregnancy by far), Eric and I both new that there was still one more little one that belonged to our family. The thought of being pregnant again scared me to death. I tried to convince myself that this time it would be different. This time I would get the medicine that I needed right away, and it would make it so I wouldn't get sooo sick. My Dr. was very helpful in getting me the medicine I needed right away this time. But guess what, it didn't take my sickness away. I was so depressed at this point. As my sickness became more full blown, I started to loose it. I didn't know if I could handle it. I didn't know how my family would handle it. I got really scared.

As I laid upstairs in my death bed one day. I started praying really hard that Heavenly Father would take this away from me, and not make me or my family go through this. I started reading my scriptures and read:

Mosiah 24

13 And it acame to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.
14 And I will also ease the aburdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as bwitnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did astrengthen them that they could bear up their bburdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with cpatience to all the will of the Lord.

I knew right then that Heavenly Father was not going to take this trial away from me. That this was a trial that me and my family were going to have to face, but that he would make our burdens seem light. At first, I was frustrated!!! This is not what I wanted to hear!!! And I can assure you there was no way I was going to bear this trial with Cheerfulness.But at the same time, it provided me with a strange comfort and I knew that my family was going to get through this and knowing that Heavenly Father would help us when things got really hard.

It is interesting that as you get through a trial, how you are able to take a step back and see how the Lord's hand played a role in helping you through. Like I said, he did not take away my sickness. But he sent many of you to help my family through this time. And I would like to say Thank You!!!!

First of all I would like to thank my Wonderful husband Eric. Yes, he knew as well as I did what he was getting into when we decided to start trying to have another child. He knew it meant that he pretty much became a single parent for a couple of months. He would go to work all day, come home from an exhausting day and the kids would want all of his attention since mom hadn't been much fun, he would clean the house, do the laundry, play with the kids, put them to bed, on Sundays he would get the kids up, dressed, fed and ready for church. My two boys were amazing during this time too! They put up with a lot. Let me lay around alot. Tommy was epically sensitive and would let me take naps, answer the phone so it wouldn't wake me up, come in and rub my back as I was throwing up. He is an excellent first child, and will make an awesome older brother. It was hard on Blake too. But somehow he new that mommy didn't feel well. During this time he played better by himself then he ever had. He followed his brothers example and would come rub my back as I was throwing up. One time they stood there and fought over who got to rub my back. At the time it was really annoying, but now it makes me smile. Blake knows there is a baby in mommy's tummy and I think he will have a lot of fun being a big brother too!

I would also like to thank my mother and mother in law. My mother helped take care of me the first week things took a turn for the worst. She came and took Blake in the mornings so I could rest. She also would take the boys to lunch for me and took Tommy to play with some of his cousins. My mother in law came and spent a week with me. This was nice, because this was after my family started getting a little burnt out. She was able to help get my house back in order, spend time with the kids. Get them up in the mornings and Tommy off to school. Which was really nice because the rush of mornings always were the worst for me. I am thankful for the example my mom and mother in law are for me. Neither of them got a lot of help when they were pregnant or having children, but they both have been there for me when I needed them and I know I could call on either of them and they would be there for me in a heartbeat.

Nana and the boys having a popcorn picnic in the family room after she gave the boys fresh new haircuts.

Grandma spending time with her Grandkids. One of her favorite things to do.

My sister in law Mary. Thursday nights are especially hard because Eric would have to go to City Council and work late. One Thursday night, I had all the kids ready for bed and we were reading books. After I read books I was about to put them both in bed so that I could go lay down. I felt horrible that day, and it took all I had to make it through the day. I told Tommy to go crawl in bed and he looked at me and said, " Mom, are we going to have dinner today?". Ughhh... Since I had been so sick dinner was the last thing on my mind. The thought of going downstairs and making something killed me. But I couldn't send them to bed hungry. We marched downstairs, I made them sandwiches and milk, all that I could bring myself to do, and then I finally got them into bed. I felt so horrible that night. My sister in law Mary brought us a delicious dinner for Eric's b-day so he didn't have to cook, but she also made us about 10 yummy frozen dinners so that I didn't have to make dinner. It was actually really fun to pull something new out of the freezer. My kids don't usually like to try new things, but they enjoyed all of these meals. They were all kid friendly. Not only that she spent the time to go through all her recipes and make sure they were dairy free for Blake. Mary, I don't think you know how much this meant to me and my family. It was a lifesaver. An answer to prayers.

My good friend Sandi- Sandi called to check up on me everyday. She said she could tell what kind of day I was having just by the way I said hello. Sandi often would stop by just to keep me company and see how I was doing. Always asking me what she could do to help. One day I told her I was craving her Minestrone soup. No questions asked she made it for me right away. That soup hit the spot. It was the first thing in a long time I didn't throw up. In fact, I stopped throwing up all together. She swears it is not a coincidence. :) Sandi, thank you for being such a good friend and for truly being so concerned about me during this time. Your friendship means the world to me.

My awesome visiting teachers Nicole and Christy- My visiting teachers checked up on me regularly, especially Christy. Her son Jared and Tommy are the best of buds so she saw me just about everyday as we picked the kids up from school. She made sure I was alright, asked me if I needed anything and picked up Tommy once a week from school so Tommy and Jared could have a play date. She knew how important it was to me that Tommy still play and not be stuck home just because mom was. I know he really looked forward to his Tuesday play dates at Jared's house. My visiting teachers also informed me one day that they were going to come over and help me get my house clean, and bring me dinner that night. Of course I was horrified to have people come see how dirty my house has gotten, so I was relieved when Tommy got the flu and I had to cancel. But they still showed up with dinner and it could not have been a better night. I have to say Christy's husband Jeff makes the best homemade pizza !

My long time friend Bekki. Bekki decided that she was going to come hang out with me on Wednesdays. I told her, really there was nothing anyone could do, I just wanted someone to make me feel better. I also told her how lonely I would get sometimes as I just laid around all day. Her and her adorable daughter came to hang out with me. Blake and Tommy liked the company. Bekki also helped make lunch for the kids. Thank you Bekki. I know no matter what you and I will always be friends, thanks for always being there for me.

Can you believe that Bekki and I have been friends for like 15 years and I don't have a digital picture of her on my computer.


Mark and Jennifer said...

Now that was sweet and inspiring! It has been difficult! But, I notice that you put your kids above anything else. (i.e. blogging, housecleaning, church callings, etc.) You have so many friends because you are a GOOD friend. Many times through this you have watched other people's children in between throwing up in the toilet and trying to lay down so you won't throw up. And even during the worst of times you have been concerned about, positive and understanding with your children. That's remarkable!

san said...

ahhhh that was nice. i even got an honorable mention. thanks... even though i do feel like i have done very little to help out. :o~
you are such a great mom and role model. i feel SO blessed to have you as a friend.

TheDillon6 said...

the scripture that always helped me is:

John 16:21: A woman when she is in travail hat sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remereth no more the angush, for joy that a man is born into the world.

They say that if a woman could *truly* remember childbirth she would never go for any other children. And I would add to that, that if a woman who suffers (and I do mean SUFFERS) from hyperemesis gravidarum (a severe form of morning sickness, with unrelenting, excessive pregnancy-related nausea and/or vomiting that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids), she would also have only one.

Blessings flow to those who follow the Lord's plan...even knowing the trials that lie ahead.

Bekki said...

So nice Maria!! That same scripture help me too!!! What a great one! I was happy to come over and visit even though I didn't do much! Taylor loved it! She got so many kisses from older boys - how could she not love it! haha! Just cuse you're feeling better doesn't mean Taylor and I are stopping coming over.
As for the picture, its all a plan! I hate pictures!!!

Courtney said...

Maybe I could scan some awesome college pics of Bekki for you?

I'm so glad that you were so well taken care of. That must STINK to be so sick! Heavenly Father will bless you for bringing another little one into the world ;)

The Stringham 4 said...

Awww I'm blushing! ;-) You're welcome! You have been such a good friend to me that it was the least I could do for you and your family. I just wish I could have done more to help!

The Rigtrup Family said...

Maria that was a really great post. It's amazing what women can accomplish with a little love. Thanks for the reminder!

The J's said...

Maria, does this mean you are turning thecorner and starting to feel a little better?!? I hope so...

Groverfam said...

My heart has been touched as I sit here spilling tears of joy I think of the tender mercies the Lord shows each of us daily. I am so glad you were taken care of and that you are finally feeling better.

Jaime said...

I am happy to hear of all the wonderful friends & family you have around to help you out. We have been praying for you, and we are ever grateful the Lord has taken care of you & your family. May the rest of the pregnancy go well for you.

Angie Startin said...

Oh, Maria...I am so sorry that things have been rough again. I know that this may not mean much, but I really do understand because I have to go through the exact same thing. People always say that they are so amazed that I did it again, but, like you, I knew there was one more up there and there is only one way to bring them down. It is all worth it in the end, but it is a LONG 9 months. The one thing that I learned this last time was that I just needed to do the best that I could and chips fall where they may. Just survive, get through and do your best:) I teared up reading your post because I know exactly how you feel. Maybe you are having a girl this time:) I am going to keep checking to find out what you are having. Anyways, i love you and hang in there!!